Morning routines for many families may be similar in the sense that everyone needs to get ready and head out or start daily activities that need to be accomplished. A successful morning routine however can differ between each family and that morning routine could make or break how each one reacts and behaves and set the tone for the rest of the day!

Are you one that analyzes and plans your day? Are you one that does plan but feels that it could be less stressful? Let us look at what can make your morning routine with an individual with autism less stressful and avoid meltdowns.

1. Start with planning. Plan your timeline for the morning and day. Determine what needs to be completed as part of your family’s daily expectations. Be positive!
2. Have a good nighttime routine so that the morning routine is smooth.
3. Write down a schedule: A visual list that breaks down the tasks can help you keep up with what needs to be done. It also helps you NOT to forget what needs to be done.
4. Build in extra time for unexpected situations – this helps you to still be able to be on time in case some tasks need more time to focus on.
5. Material prep: Plan clothes to be worn, and plan for a nutritious breakfast that needs to be had. Keep in mind the preferences that each family member has so that if there is an issue with what you have on their plate, you can alternate that with something they would consume. Pick your battles.
6. Buy materials ahead of time so that you do not run out of basic materials that your family needs.
7. Delegate work for all the family members. Each person is to have his/her own set of responsibilities that should be done, without multiple reminders. Have visual lists for each of them if needed.
8. For your child with autism, provide choices for things such as clothing, breakfast, shoes, etc. Give him/her a small list to also complete as part of his/her routine if appropriate.
9. Use a reinforcement system if needed: IF your child with autism needs the motivation to complete any task, a token system can be used (check with your ABA team to help you make one specific for your child). This system can be used for the nighttime routine as well.
10. If your child starts to fuss, provide choices. If no choice is being made, let your child know that you would have to choose him or her if no response is made.
11. Continue to support getting ready and calmly ignore any fuss if done just for gaining attention or trying to get out of doing something. Redirect to the task or another option while using extinction (planned ignoring). Respond as needed and appropriate.
12. Do not engage in any heated verbal exchange or raise your voice. This does not help anyone and only aggravates the situation. Calmly redirect and if the behavior of your child escalates and begins to bother you, pause, and walk away for a few minutes to compose yourself. Have your partner/spouse step in to continue getting your child ready for a few minutes.
13. Stay calm and neutral to continue working on the routines. If your child chooses to wear sandals instead of shoes, consider allowing that and move on to avoid further problems. Pick your battles.
14. Ensure that you rule out any medical considerations if your child continues to fuss and starts having a meltdown. Not feeling well can be misconstrued as just being difficult, if not expressed adequately. Reach out to your child’s physician if you suspect a medical condition. Sending your child to a school/therapy center will not be a priority at this point.
15. If the meltdown is due to intolerance for something new that is introduced or something that is not part of his/her routine, plan to introduce such things as a teaching program to help build that tolerance, when things are not so hectic, and not during any busy morning.
16. Discuss with your ABA team working on morning routines and building tolerance for certain items/activities/following a schedule, making choices, etc.
17. Discuss with your ABA team having a parent BIP to support when behaviors do escalate and it is hard to keep in mind what to do. Having something visual will help to refer to during a crisis.
18. Do not worry in case the morning does not go too well as planned. Practice does help.

Reflecting on what went right and not so well is an important self-management skill that needs to be cultivated to help improve how you function and how to make your mornings less stressful and more enjoyable.

Best of luck! You’ve got this!

Author: Rama Hothur, MHM, MSE, BCBA, LBA